“Now that we’re getting married, how should my partner and I manage our money together?”
It’s one of the most common questions I get from my engaged and newlywed clients. It can be hard enough for us to manage our own money. Adding a second person to the mix makes things all the more complicated.
First and foremost, there’s the challenge of how to manage your money together with your spouse. Which accounts to use, how to monitor your finances together- there are a lot of questions here. Enough that I created a FREE guide to walk you through my methodology for combining accounts.
But before we get into the how of managing your money together with your spouse, we need to take a step back.
Start with Why
Whenever I discuss combining money with your spouse, the very first question I typically ask is- why do you want to combine your accounts together?
Is it a matter of convenience? It’s certainly easier for you to keep track of your family finances if everything is in one place. Or is a philosophical matter? You’re one family, after all, and many people want to manage their finances as such.
Do you and your partner want financial autonomy in your day to day lives? Or, do you view your financial future as being completely intertwined with each other. Or maybe somewhere in between?
There’s no right or wrong answer here. But the approach you should take is largely dictated by your answers to these questions.
One Important Note
When you start to combine your money with your spouse, there could be legal complications if you ended up separating down the line. It’s never a bad idea to speak with an attorney up front to decide how best to handle these risks. But even if you decide not to completely combine accounts, you can certainly still use my framework for managing money in sync with each other
If you do decide to keep your accounts separate, you should add your spouse as a beneficiary to your accounts as soon as possible. This way, if something were to happen to you, your spouse will inherit the assets without legal complications. Notably, this step is particularly relevant for retirement accounts like your 401(k) or IRA, where you actually can’t combine accounts with your partner at all!
Another thing to keep in mind: there’s no rule that says you either need to combine all of your bank accounts or none of them. There’s nothing wrong with combining some money in a joint checking or savings account, while keeping a portion of your income in separate places. In fact, for couples who tend to fight about money, this is one of my favorite strategies! I’ve seen couples have amazing success by depositing 80% of their paychecks into a joint account to use for family expenses, and keep the remaining money separate to save or spend as they choose.
That being said, my personal philosophy is that if you’re getting married, you should be “all in”. So, I don’t have a problem if couples want to completely integrate their accounts- as long as they want to for the right reasons, as discussed above.
The Next Question- When Should You Combine Finances
You shouldn’t actually combine your financial accounts with your partner until you’re married. Period.
Couples in our generation operate differently than our parents and grandparents. These days, it seems like the norm is to take big steps, like moving in together, before you are engaged. I know and I get it- I lived with my wife for over a year before we got married.
But just because some societal norms are changing, doesn’t mean that everything should change. Particularly when it comes to legal issues.
You might view yourself as “basically married” to your boyfriend or girlfriend, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. But, your bank won’t view you as married until you’re actually legally married. Nor with the courts, if you were to break up. These situations become much more complicated if you have shared financial assets that you’re trying to split between two non-married people.
There’s nothing wrong whatsoever with jointly managing your finances with your boyfriend or girlfriend if you are living together. In fact, I usually encourage it. My guide on managing your finances with your partner will show you how. But managing your finances together doesn’t mean you have to actually combine your accounts. One more time for good measure: don’t do that until you actually get married.
Hopefully, it just means you’ll have separate accounts for a few more months or years. But in the worst case scenario, it can save you a ton of trouble by waiting.
How Do We Go About Merging our Finances?
You’ve talked about why you want to combine finances with your spouse. You are, in fact, spouses, so it’s an appropriate time to merge your money. Now, how do you do it?
I have a three-tiered framework for how to combine finances with your spouse. You’ll get a step by step walkthrough of this in my free guide. In this guide, you’ll learn how to:
1. Identify your shared financial goals with your spouse, and why these are so critical to keep in mind when you set up your joint financial accounts
2. Inventory each of your current financial accounts, and create an account map that shows you exactly where your money is today and how it’s being used.
3. Choose which accounts to use and confirm you have enough accounts in line with your goals.
There are a lot of steps to combine your money the correct way, and it’s critical that you take the time to make sure that nothing falls through the cracks. Download this free guide on combining your finances today, and you and your spouse will have a roadmap to make sure you’re set up for success.